Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Dear Bride to Be {Series} So You Don't Have a Man

I know you.

You're young. And single. A Jesus follower who reads the Word. 

You go to work, out with friends, on random dates. Your life is full and you can't complain. 

Still. There is an ache in your heart for "the one." 

Maybe I haven't met you, but I know you.
Because I've been you.

I know what it is to yearn for a Godly husband. To want to be a Godly wife. To hear the sermons on marriage and anticipate the day you gladly put them into practice. To buy the books just so you'll be prepared.

I know what it's like to stand beside another friend at the alter, holding her bouquet as she holds the hand of her beloved and repeats the vows you long to say. 

I know what it's like to beg God to either remove that desire for a husband, or fulfill it. 

As one who has walked that road of longing, here is my word to you while you wait.

Bless your husband.

You heard me, bless him. That darling brain of yours has daydreamed dozens of ways to do that in the future, but have you considered that you can should do that NOW?! Pay attention to this snippet from Scripture about being an ideal wife:

"She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:12

Did you catch it? She brought him good ALL the days of her life. Not just the ones after she met him. 

She was a blessing to him by the way she lived even before she laid eyes on him.

So dear girl, it's time to start thinking like a wife. It's time to start living in such a way that you bring good to your future husband with how you live today. 

Bless your husband today by deepening your relationship with Christ. Singleness is a great season to serve Christ unfettered.  But beware of the superficial spirituality that comes with busyness. Above all else, press into Christ. Commit to know Him like you've never known Him before. This solitary effort will bless your future husband more than any other.

Commit to a church and grow alongside other believers. Just their presence in your life will help hold you accountable to the standard of holiness that will bless your future man. Not to mention that learning how to serve and commit are pretty big themes in marriage. Practice that at church and you'll be better at it in marriage. 

Bless your husband by being wise about who you date. And how you date. If you would be ashamed to tell your husband about so-and-so, or what you did with so-and-so, then for pete's sake don't go there. Bring good to your husband by remaining (or becoming) untainted by sexual sin. And for the love, cover up your sexy parts. They are meant for him alone. No man wants others oogling his girl. Bless him by not sharing his woman with another man. 

Bless your husband by being good with money. You know what will really impress a Godly man and bring good to his life? Not spending all you have right now on yourself. Tithe. Spend some on cute clothes. Give. And save for the life you will one day build together. Invest in his future, not just your own. He'll kiss you for that one day. (And when he does send me an email telling me I was right.)

Bless your husband by being radical in your obedience to Christ. If you are looking for a man who is all in with Jesus, then bring good to his life by developing that discipline in your life now. The husband you are looking for is not a half-hearted Christian (as if there were such a thing).  The wife he's looking for isn't one either. 

Dear lady. Waiting is tough. But you don't have to sit around doing nothing.  Say "I do" in your heart to the man you haven't even met. 

And commit to living now in a way that blesses him. 


  1. Beth, this reminds me of an article I wrote for a Women's Ministry newsletter at church. I put the article on my blog. Here is the link.

    Thanks for the wise words!

  2. Teresa, I love that article! Your perspective is wise and well balanced. The singles who serve alongside us at church bless my heart, and I hope our family blesses theirs. I long for churches to do less segregating into "life stage", and more integrating generations and circumstances!! Let's learn from one another. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Great thoughts! I wish more young women understood this!

    1. I wish I had understood it much sooner!